Struggling with Diet Change: Understanding Ambivalence

Explore the common struggle with change and ambivalence in dieting. Discover how to navigate conflicting feelings and find a balanced approach to achieving health goals.

Have you ever said to yourself, “Tomorrow (or next Monday), I’m going to begin eating healthy!”?

But then the day arrives, and you think, “Well, maybe next week would be a better time to start.”

If that’s the case, congratulations—you’re perfectly normal.

I’ve experienced that many times. Even now, as a nutrition coach with years of experience, I still sometimes find myself reverting and struggling to step out of my comfort zone.

This feeling of being torn between wanting and not wanting to change is called ambivalence.

Understanding Ambivalence: Balancing Between Wanting Change and Feeling Comfort

Have you ever wanted to change your lifestyle but also felt hesitant? 

Maybe you’ve told yourself, “I should start eating healthier,” only to find that sticking to that plan feels too much effort.

This feeling of being pulled in two directions, wanting to change but also wanting to stay comfortable, is called ambivalence.

Ambivalence is something we all experience regularly. It occurs when we have mixed feelings about something. 

For example, you should get in better shape and feel healthier, which is excellent! But at the same time, you might feel comfortable with your current habits and find it hard to give them up.

For instance, I often debate whether to buy ice cream or get only fresh fruit at the grocery store. 

Honestly, there are days when I stick with my comfort zone and choose to get ice cream. And that’s okay, as long as I enjoy treats like ice cream or chips in moderation and mostly stick to a healthy diet.

How do You Overcome Ambivalence to Change? 

The trouble with ambivalence is that it can sometimes stop us from taking action. We might spend a lot of time thinking about changing—weighing the pros and cons in our minds—but not doing anything about it. 

This often results in a cycle of feeling trapped or disappointed in ourselves. I understand this personally because I’ve experienced it myself. Here are a few tips you should always keep in mind: 

• Feeling unsure about change is normal, but knowing this can help us handle it better.
• It’s normal to feel torn about change. The key is balancing the desire to improve and the need for comfort.
• To get started, take small steps toward your goals. For instance, instead of changing your diet, add more veggies gradually.
• Remember, change happens over time, not instantly. It’s okay to go at your own pace. I tell my clients to take it easy, not rush, and count on small changes.

Final Thoughts

Understanding why we feel unsure can make it easier to move forward.

If you’re feeling stuck in this situation, here are some helpful questions to ask yourself:

• What are the benefits of NOT making this change?

• What are the drawbacks or challenges of making this change?

Finding the answers to these questions can give you important insights. Even if it seems to hold you back, every behavior serves a purpose.

Your answers will help you understand why you might be resisting change. They reveal the role of your current habits in your life and what you might lose if you decide to change them.

For example, you might want to stop eating snacks late at night, but this habit might help you relax or distract yourself from a stressful relationship. 

It’s no wonder you feel conflicted!

The good news is that once you understand how your current habits serve you, you can find new habits that meet your needs without giving up on your larger goals.

Take some time to think about these questions. They could lead to a breakthrough in understanding yourself better and making positive changes in your life.